"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer

"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby."
- Anonymous Manufacturer

"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again."
- Barbara Boxer, Senator

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach

"Next up is the Central African Republic located in central Africa."
- Bob Costas, during the parade of nations in the 2000 Summer Games in Sydney, Australia

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a   manned mission to Mars

"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
- George Gobel

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
- George Rogers, NFL New Orleans Saint RB, when asked about the upcoming season

"And now, will y'all stand and be recognized."
- Gib Lewis, Texas Speaker of the House, to a group of people in wheelchairs on Disability Day

"For most people, death comes at the end of their lives."
- GLR broadcaster, UK "For the majority of people, the use of tobacco has a beneficial effect."
- Dr. Ian G. MacDonald, Los Angles Surgeon, as Quoted in Newsweek November 18, 1969.

"Teeth extracted by the latest methodists."  (Rotten bible thumpers)
- Hong Kong dental advertisement

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
- John Wayne, Actor  (good old Marion aka John Wayne. He’s truly a compassionate man.)

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
- Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery

"If you or any member of your family has been killed..."
- Lawyer commercial on TV, Orlando, Florida   (Well you can reach him by Crossing Over with John Edwards…)

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
- Lee Iacocca, former Chrysaler Chariman  (Yeah, we greedy Americans are always wanting more)

"Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry.  I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
- Mariah Carey, Pop Singer  (another compassionate American)

"I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
- Miss Alabama, in the 1994 Miss Universe contest, when asked if   she would want to live forever. (And, they say Beauty Pageants lack substance)

"Guys aren't able to get $15 or $20 million anymore, so you have to play for the love of the game."
- Penny Hardaway, NBA Basketball Player (Must…restrain…myself…from…bludgeoning him… to death)