Nobody can tell you off and read you the riot act better than an angry black mother. I often hear my mom's voice come out of my mouth when I've had it with my sometimes incorrigible students.  I feel it's time for me (at least in this blog) to let Michael Jackson know he has gone too far. Please forgive the all caps and the colloquialisms, but I'm Southern and I'm black and I will be writing this reprimand in the style in which I would have heard it growing up.  Uhem...

"FOOL! WHAT THE HELL IS YO GOT DAMN PROBLEM SHOWIN' UP TO THE COURTHOUSE IN YOUR PAJAMAS? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR COMPLETE, EVA LOVIN' MIND?? SOMEBODY NEEDS TO PUT THEY FOOT SO FAR UP YO' NARROW ASS THAT THEY WOULD HAVE TA CALL THE DOCTOR TO REMOVE IT!!!!

TALKIN' 'BOUT 'YOUR BACK HURTS,  THEN SHOWING UP LATE FOR COURT LOOKIN' LIKE SOMETHIN' THE CAT DONE DRUG IN.  THE JUDGE SHOULDA PUT YO SORRY ASS IN JAIL. YOU ARE A GROWN MAN AND YOU NEED TO ACT LIKE IT! YOU THE FOOL WHO CAN'T FIND FRIENDS YOUR OWN DAMN AGE. YOU GOT CAUGHT, NOW FACE THE MUSIC! UP THERE CALLIN' YO SELF "THE KING OF POP", YOU NEED THE "KING OF KINGS!" YOU NEED JESUS! NOT NO JESUS JUICE...AND SPEAKING OF JESUS JUICE, YO MOMMA SHOULD HAVE SLAPPED YO ASS  WITH A BIBLE FOR BLASPHEMIN' LIKE THAT. YOU SHOULD HAVE "KING JAMES" IMPRINTED UPSIDE YO HEAD.  SHIT! UP THERE 'ACTIN' A FOOL' AN' GETTIN YO MOMMA ALL UPSET. PROBABLY BRINGIN' UP HER PRESSURE. IF YOU WAS MY SON, I'D GET A HICKORY SWITCH AND WHUP YO ASS LIKE YOU STOLE SOMETHIN'! YA DAMN PASTY-ASSED, BASTARD! NOW GIT DA HELL OUTTA MY FACE! (oops, kinda got carried away there.)